On Love and its mysteries
Do you understand love? The poet Vinicious de Moraes gives his opinion in a sonnet and Jung explains.
Sonnet of Fidelity by Vinicius de Moraes
Above all, to my love I’ll be attentive
First and always, with care and so much
That even when facing the greatest enchantment
By love be more enchanted my thought
I want to live it through in each vain moment
And in its honor I’ll spread my song
And laugh my laughter and cry my tears
When you are sad or when you are content.
And thus, when later comes looking for me
Who knows, the death, anxiety of the living,
Who knows, the loneliness, end of all lovers
I’ll be able to say to myself of the love (I had):
Be not immortal, since it is flame
But be infinite while it lasts.
Romeo meets Juliet. Eros (Cupid) sends his arrows. Heaven opens up for the two lovers. That is how love starts. That is how we arrive in heaven. But, as pointed by the poet, it is not immortal since it is a flame, although infinite while it lasts. And this type of love will not last as the poet knew after eight wives and many lovers.
Why not? Jung explains. Men have, inside their psyche, an archetype – the Anima. Women have another – the Animus. When you project the Anima (or Animus) on your lover, you are projecting a god. No human being can sustain such a projection for long. Dante did project his Anima on Beatrice, his muse, but he saw her only twice and never talked to her. The outburst of romantic love is a projection. This projection is broken with everyday co-existence. Then, you learn your partner is not a god.
A marriage generally starts with a projection of Anima/Animus, but only lasts if, after the infatuation, the couple develops friendship and respect that result in the pleasure in living together. A marriage is never perfect, but, if the advantages are superior to the disadvantages and one partner is not stricken by another Eros’ arrow and tries a different relationship, may last till death separates them.
As the poet says, loneliness is the end of all lovers.
I am Roberto Lima Netto, a writer who seeks to present, in easy words, the ideas of Carl Jung and of notable mystics and sages. I also write fiction, always trying to convey lessons of life. After all, Jesus taught us that the stories are the best way to present ideas. Some of my books are: The Little Prince for Grownups, The Jungian Bible, The Amazon Shaman, In Search of Happiness, and A Boy, a metaphor for life, all available in Amazon and Kindle.